OK, folks, it’s time to make a run at stage 6-2. Yes, this is the second stage of the AIRPLANE section of Donkey Kong (Game Boy, 1994). It’s strange, I know, but Donkey Kong and Pauline are somehow now on an airplane. Why are they on a plane? Who is flying the plane? (That rascal Donkey Kong Jr. perhaps?) Is there a layover at O’Hare? Will there be any delicious snacks on the flight? So many questions!

Naturally, the always-tenacious Mario is hot on their tail. (But not that hot; we’ve still got 43 stages to get through before he finally catches up to them.) Also, this is no ordinary airplane. This is a videogame airplane, which means that it can comfortably seat up to eight stages of Donkey Kong. Here’s what we’re dealing with today: we’ve got three tiers, a pair of switches, and one rising-falling monolith that can instantly turn Mario into an Italian pancake.

Let’s begin.

First, head to the rising-falling monolith. No, this isn’t a suicide mission. What have we learned so far about rising-falling monoliths, class? That’s right: they can be used as makeshift elevators. Very good, class. Now, get close enough to the monolith’s path to trigger it. Boom. Once it has landed, climb aboard and ride it upward. As the great poet Aretha Franklin once said, “Now who’s zoomin’ who, rising-falling monolith?”

During your ascent, jump to the right to gain access to switch one. When you pull switch one, the shutter directly to your right opens. We are making progress, people.

Now that the shutter is open, head for switch two, which is just below you on the lower level. Also: If you’re in the market for the handbag and the umbrella, now is the time to grab them both, because they’re in the vicinity. Pro tip: You’ll need to perform a handstand super-jump to reach the umbrella. Not everyone can do one of these. But you can, I’m certain of it. Now, pull switch two. Note how a very long bridge extends all the way across the middle of the level, cutting it in half. Side note: if you had not pulled switch one first, the bridge would have only extended to the point where it met the lowered shutter. Aren’t you glad you dealt with the shutter first? Trust me, I figured this one out the hard way.

Climb the nearby ladder, then head across the bridge. Grab the key on the far lefthand side. Also worth noting: the wind is once again blowing from left to right. Apparently, someone left the door open on this airplane. Bad news: you will be heading into the wind as you cross the bridge, which means your progress will be slowed a bit.

Once you’ve got the key, turn around and head back across the bridge. Good news: the wind will be at your back now. Feel it back there, hurrying you along? I absolutely love aesthetic experiences like this, when I can actually feel my videogame self communing with the virtual elements.

When you’re back on the righthand side of the level again, set the key down directly above where switch two is located. This is important. If you don’t do this, you’re in for a world of hurt, I tell you. Is it directly above where switch two is located? Good. As soon as the key is out of your hands, make haste and hustle down the ladder. Think you’re going fast enough? You’re not. Move, man, move. Pull switch two as soon as humanly possible. If you were fast enough, the key will drop from above, landing next to you. Do you see now why I directed you to put the key where I did? Never question my authority again.

Quickly re-grab the key–it should be blinking faster than a disco strobe light at this point–then carry it along the row of fake doors at the bottom tier of the level. Warning: be mindful of the rising-falling monolith. I wasn’t mindful, and I had to do everything you finished reading about a second time, damn it all.

When you reach the door that Pauline is locked behind–it’s exactly one door from the left–stage 6-2 is cleared for landing. Next on the docket: stage 6-3.