December 14, 2011 scottcjones 9Comments
R.I.P. Jones Report. You were not meant for this world.

Welcome to the new and improved version of The Jones Report. Only it will no longer be called “The Jones Report.” The Jones Report, as you know it, is now dead. For all early adopters and supporters of The Jones Report: I THANK YOU. It is gone now. The site served me well for many years. But now it is time for us to hold a pillow over its face like in the movie Million Dollar Baby.

[Insert sounds of struggling HERE.]

So you are no doubt wondering what you can expect from the new site. Here is a mere sampling of some of the features that you can look forward to:

IMPROVED FUNCTIONALITY

FRIENDLY LOOK

LINKS TO MY WRITINGS

LINKS TO MY TV SHOWS

EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT POOPING/FARTING

MORE SWEARS

BAKING TIPS

FAN FICTION

ROBOT CLUB

PRO GAMER TIPS

EVEL KNIEVAL REMEMBRANCES

SO MUCH MORE

The new site is a manifestation of a conversation that my friend John Teti and I have been having for about six months. Teti is the one who handled the site design. He knows about these kinds of things, as well as other kinds of things like this and this. The words “simpler” and “cleaner” were used a lot in those conversations. Also, I think the phrase “easy on the eyes” was used at least once. Example: “The new site should definitely be easy on the eyes.”

Is it simpler and cleaner? Is it easy on the eyes? That’s for you to decide.

Mostly what I wanted was a solid, reliable place to put my stories. I walk through my days, eating my sandwiches, playing my videogames and petting every cat I see, and then something will happen, and I’ll think, “Man, that’s a story. That’s something I want to talk about.” I’ll get all excited, so excited that I sometimes can’t even sleep, and I’ll wake up early the next morning (usually when it’s still dark outside; that’s always the best time to write) and get to typing. And voila, children: that’s where blog posts come from.

A few potential subjects that may or may not be addressed in future posts:

1. I’m having corrective eye surgery on December 15th. After wearing eyeglasses since Mr. Lubeck’s class in the fifth grade, I will–if all goes as planned (knock on wood)–be able to see without them for the first time in several decades. My colleague Victor Lucas is doing it, too. We’re doing it together. No, we will not be holding hands during the procedure. Or maybe we will. Who knows? It might be scary in there.

2. I’m traveling back to the East Coast for Christmas–covering the 3,000 miles from Vancouver, B.C. to Syracuse, New York–which means I’ll see my family, which almost always leads to some interesting experiences.

3. I’m teaching a course on Game Journalism at the Vancouver Film School for seven weeks starting in January. Which I’m really looking forward to.

4. I’m planning to play all 101 levels of Donkey Kong (Game Boy, 1994) during the first third of 2012. I’ll play one level per day for 101 days, then write about each level here on the site. Why am I burdening myself with this Sisyphean task? I honestly don’t know. It occurred to me one day to do it. So I am doing it.

Looking back, I’ve come a long way in 2011. I’ve covered a lot of ground. I kicked off the year with a trio of depressing blog posts/pep talks for myself that I wrote in the wake of a boozy December 2010. And at year-end, I’ve got six months of sobriety under my belt, and a clear head and heart.

All I can say is this: Best watch your ass, 2012.

Because I’m coming for you.

See you next year, people.

-jones

9 thoughts on “Here Is Your Holiday Present, Everyone!!

  1. Interesting new look, although a bit too gray. I am partial to splashes of color personally. I also hope there will be some sort of easy search area to pull up old posts quickly, like by month, year, subject. etc.–I don’t see one currently. Oh, there is also something odd about the photo at the very top. Something doesn’t feel right about it…

    All in all though, good stuff, & looking forward to whatever new types of features/stories/posts that will be rolling out in the future. (Have you ever thought about adding a dream journal??)

    One last thing… I had laser eye surgery too back in my 20s with no regrets. However, I have always thought that there are people just made for glasses & people who simply aren’t. Glasses were never my thing & contacts for many years because an extreme annoyance, but you? You always seemed like a glasses kinda guy…but hey, have fun & good luck!

    You’ll enjoy the blue pills (the white ones too), & you will definitely feel like magic that first morning after…

  2. Love the new site!

    And though you’ll still be sexy either way, a Scott Jones without glasses is like macaroni without cheese– it can only be done by those with the utmost of culinary sophistication. Congrats on moving up in the world…

    😉

    …and thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow!

  3. When I first checked out your old blog, I almost wailed. Then I read past the title and all was well. The new site looks classy, and the textured background reminds me of paper and therefore makes me happy.
    I look forward to more of your writing, it entertains/enlightens me to no end.

    P.S. Good luck (both of you) with your eyes! You’ll be able to read the alarm clock unaided! *is jealous*

  4. Love the new layout and design. Its so clean and modern, a perfect match for a very suave individual. Looking forward to reading more of your interesting and often entertaining musings. They are always a joy to read~<3. Good luck to you and Victor with the eye surgery procedure. Hope you both heal well over the holiday season. Keep us updated. ^.~ Have a very Merry Christmas and a killer New Year.

  5. All good news, Mr. Jones! I enjoy your writing. If I had known you were teaching a class I would have signed up. I’ll check to see if there are any spots left. As for the new website–change is good. The site is easy on eyes, but if I can make one suggestion: perhaps a tinge color in the side bars.

    Good luck tomorrow.
    Happy Holidays!

    Peter

  6. Hey Scott, like the new site and really enjoying the whole gang on rotr. I live in Victoria but make it over to Vancouver a couple of times a month. Any events going on in the next few months that I could attend to get.a chance to meet you folks.

    K, happy holidays in NYC

    Paul.

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