Gerta began ushering applicants one by one through an office door where she and an Ichabod Crane-like man in a pinstriped suit would determine if these individuals were Santa Squad material or not. Five minutes after the door would close, the door would open again, the applicant would emerge, and Gerta would usher in the next person. I was sitting with the Elves, even though, in my heart, I still felt certain that I was a Santa. The Elves were predominantly short men and women, several of whom smelled strongly of alcohol despite the early hour. One of the Elf…